Episode 1.1 - T'Chad Has Been... Drinking

Mead

At long last, the DunJanes set out on their adventures! Join Avi, Idi, Lil and T'Chad as they meet, have a drink, and almost immediately get in trouble.

 

T'Chad Has Been... Drinking Transcript

Jenna: Hello and welcome to DunJanes and Dragons, I'm Jenna your dungeon master. Cal will be playing Idi, a Human Fighter. Gretchen will be playing T'Chad, a Tiefling bard. Lizzi will be playing Avi, a Half-elven rogue, and Milly will be playing Lil, an elven druid. If you would like to know more about their characters before we start, you can take five minutes out to listen to our bonus episode Meet the DunJanes otherwise, you'll get to know them as the game progresses.

We are very aware that we may have some listeners who have no experience in either playing or listening to a D&D game, to help, I will be doing a short DunJanes and Jargons segment at the end of each episode. I'll choose and element of play from the episode and try, as briefly and succinctly as possible, to explain how it works. Veterans, or those who don't feel the need to know the ins and outs, can simply turn the podcast off as the segment starts.

This is only my second time being a Dungeon Master and our players are also inexperienced, so this will be a learning curve for all of us. Hopefully we can entertain you along the way.

There are some rules that we are intentionally forgetting, as they are tedious for new players; spell components for instance, and some which we will unintentionally forget.

We are firm advocates of the story is more important than the rules philosophy. We do want to be super good and stuff so please feel free to feedback to us about anything we do, just don't be a dick about it.

[Music plays]

Jenna: [1:40] The river Echo churns her way across the countryside. Through the millennia she has carved herself a deep path through the rock and earth. Echo's waters rarely see sunlight as as she is shaded by the great walls of her home.

Where we begin, a huge willow tree rises on the west side of the canyon, silhouetted against the cool blue cloudless sky. It sits at the top, fifty feet above the angry water, leaning across as if to get a better look into the depths. The tree herself is tall, over two hundred feet, and it would take twenty men holding hands to surround the base. Roots wriggle and writhe in and out of the ground, some thicker than an orc. The branches drape down to form a curtain over the river, leaving the majority of the east side of the tree open to sunlight.

You cannot tell from looking but the willow is hollow almost all the way up the trunk. She is not dead but the magic that maintains her has long been forgotten. Pilgrims come from far and wide to examine her and find no clues to her secret. Is she blessed or under a curse? She has become known as the 'Sky tree', original I know but common folk believe that she reaches all the way to the heavens.

Thanks to a gaudy visitor's brochure you have learnt that one hundred years ago, Procto Anak, a canny businessman and all round ambitious character went on his own pilgrimage to the sky tree. Seeing the tents of other pilgrims and the lack of nearby establishments or settlements, Procto saw a gap in the market. A gap in the market that could be filled by the hole in the tree. 'What sort of man would creep around in the dead of night to build an Inn inside a sacred tree for his own profit?'  The pilgrims cried, but they soon gave in to the offer of a cosy bed and a hearty breakfast and thusly you awaken in the Anak Inn, a series of rooms which fill up the hollow in the centre of sky tree. It is cosy and well maintained, filled with simple wooden furniture. There are no windows, but each room is lit by a small glowing globe hovering near the ceiling. All the rooms are necessarily small, including the common room which sits at the base. This is where you are now.

What are you doing?

Milly: May I ask a point of clarification?

Jenna: Yes.

Milly: When you say 'wriggling' do you mean like wrigglin' wrigglin', like is it alive?

Jenna: Not like moving.

Milly: Not like a weeping... ok.

Gretchen: Metaphorically wriggling.

Cal: Metaphorically wriggling.

[Laughter]

Milly: So, and then, is it our job to decide why we're there? Or do we know why we're there?

Jenna: Yeah, it's your job to decide why you're there.

Milly: Cool, cool, cool.

Jenna: So, in the room that you're in, you can see that there is a bar along one side. Behind it is a suspiciously tall halfling who you can actually see over the bar, which is... unlikely.

[Laughter]

Jenna: Urm, there are four tables, each of which will seat about six people. So what are you doing?

Cal: Well I think I'm probably sitting at the bar.

Jenna: ok

Cal: Drinking mead. I mean...

Lizzi: I think I'm, like, skulking in a corner. My hood is probably up, I'm looking pretty pissed. As in pissed off [laughter] not... Um. Maybe I'm doing that thing where you like stab a knife between your fingers just to make sure that no-one comes anywhere near me.

Milly: I'm gonna say Lil is pacing. Urm, I am not a hundred percent confident that she is actually a guest.

Jenna: Um, so you guys are actually the only people that are staying here just now. Well, you're the only people in the common room just now. So it's you guys and the bar tender.

Cal: The 'halfling'.

Jenna: The halfling.

[Laughter]

Cal: Air quotes.

[General amusement]

Gretchen: Uh, I'm thinking T'Chad is artfully draped over um [Milly laugh], either at a bar stool or a chair. That he's kind of off by himself posing and tuning up his lute, really, really hoping that someone would come over and ask him to play them something.

Milly: Is it possible to make physical contact with the tree from where we are?

Jenna: Yeah.

Milly: Cool.

Jenna: I mean, it makes up the walls...

Milly: Right. I imagine that Lil is like, kind of gently stroking it and whispering to it as if she can communicate with it, which she cannot do, but it makes her feel better.

Jenna: Ok, so the um, the bartender disappears briefly, and comes round the outside of the bar so you can see that actually she is a very normal sized...

Gretchen: I have a question.

Jenna: Yeah?

Gretchen: Halflings are short?

Jenna: They're Hobbits.

Milly: Think Hobbits.

Gretchen: Oh ok, ah k.

[Laughing]

Jenna: So she's probably about three foot tall.

Gretchen: Oh, alright. She's...

Jenna: She's a lot smaller than the rest of you.

Gretchen: ...standing on a box.

Jenna: Yeah. So she comes out, she's got a little pad of paper and she approaches T'Chad and says -

J as Darla: Well hello there, I'm Darla Dewbottle. Can I take your breakfast order please?

G as T'Chad: Uh, yeah. Yeah you can. Um, except that I am just not in the mood for eating right now because music is the food of my soul. By the way... have you thought about your soul today?

J as Darla: Ok, but I mean like we make really good eggs. So can I put you down for the eggs?

G as T'Chad: ...yeah.

J as Darla: You... get right on doing what you're doing.

G as T'Chad: Can I take your order for a song, pretty lady?

J as Darla: Something... morningy.

G as T'Chad: [interrupting] anyway, here's Chosen One

[much laughter from all]

Gretchen: Ding dingadingading ding.

Jenna: Ok, she goes over to um, Avi in the corner next.

J as Darla: So, can I take your order? We make real good eggs

L as Avi: Take? D.. did someone say take? What?

J as Darla: Urm, it means our eggs... I'm offering you eggs.

L as Avi: Oh eggs. I... I think I'm good.

Jenna: And then, she kinda looks at you (Lil)

Milly: I wouldn't.

Jenna: Stroking the walls.

Milly: I wouldn't.

Jenna: Like (tsk, side eye) um, and goes back behind the bar because you're(Idi) sitting at the bar.

J as Darla: Would you like breakfast Sir?

C as Idi: No, I wasn't planning on staying for breakfast.

J as Darla: More mead then?

C as Idi: Ah, more mead please. Yes.

J as Darla: Ok.

Milly: What time is it in the morning? Just out of curiosity...

[much laughter from all]

Gretchen: Mead o'clock.

Cal: Mead o'clock. It's always mead o'clock.

Jenna: I mean, you need something to suggest the ba... tragic backstory right?

C as Idi: Oh no, I just like drinking!

Gretchen: Can we have an embroidered t-shirt that says 'it's mead o'clock' on it somewhere?

Cal: I shift backwards slightly, as my weapons clink on my belt.

Gretchen: I like the idea that every time you move it's just like abuhbuhbuhbuhbum!

C as Idi: More mead please.

Jenna: Darla, throws some eggs on the conveniently placed hob behind her bar. Like I said, this is a very small place, she has to fit everything in one bit.

Gretchen: Is it a Hobbit hob?

Jenna: It's a Hobbit hob.

Gretchen: Oh my God!

Jenna: And then proceeds to pour you (Idi) some more mead.

C as Idi: Thankyou.

Jenna: What else would you like to do while you're here?

Milly: Um, I guess like, could I get a further description of, I dunno, the rest of the hotel? Or like a little bit more of the setting, like if I wanted to go adventuring, like, you know, maybe, make a friend, destroy a hotel that shouldn't be on the inside of a tree...

[merriment]

Jenna: Um, so, you've got the bar along one wall and then your four tables. Um, on the other side of the bar from that is the door that takes you up to the rooms. Um, if you haven't been in here before then the others will know that there's basically a really long staircase with a door that periodically comes off it um, to take you into the rooms.

Milly: (incredulous) I'm sorry. A door that periodically comes off it?

Jenna: No, I mean. Occasionally there's a door and that's the door to one of the rooms.

Gretchen: Like occasionally, like the door's not always there? Or the walls...

Milly: I'm so confused.

Cal: There are multiple doors.

Jenna: No, so there's a stair and like every ten stairs there's like a landing that has a door and that leads to a room.

Milly: I really liked the like...

Gretchen: I was picturing like, Harry Potter where sometimes the doors are there and sometimes they're not there and, you know, if they're not there, you sleep on the stairs.

Jenna: Yeah

Lizzi: Can we have that?

Jenna: What, magic doors?

Lizzi: Yeah.

Jenna: They're not magic doors .

[general disappointment]

Jenna: The doors are always there. Darla looks at... Idi.

J as Darla: We get a lot of pilgrims out here, what brings you? You don't look like our normal type.

C as Idi: Uh, no I was just travelling with a caravan and this was their stop.

J as Darla: But they left yesterday, so what's keeping you on.

C as Idi: They left yesterday but your mead's pretty good.

[Much merriment]

C as Idi: It's nice to stop for a while. They paid me well.

Gretchen: I hear 'Paid you well' and sidle on over.

Cal: Ah, I was gonna sidle on over to you, but you can sidle on over to me...

Gretchen: No, actually T'Chad would much prefer you to sidle. You sidle.

Cal: I was gonna pick up...

Gretchen: T'Chad's all brooding in the corner with his lute.

Cal: I'm gonna pick up my mead... my second flagon of mead and I'm gonna...

Gretchen: Is it a dragon flagon?

Cal: It's a dra... I dunno, is it a dragon flagon?

Jenna: The handle is a dragon.

Cal: It's a dragon flagon! So I pick up my two dragon flagons and I get off my seat, with much clinking of weapons, and I sidle on over to T'Chad, who is artfully draped, and I say-

[bemused amusement]

Gretchen: I was draping myself for effect, dear listeners. You can't experience this first hand but I'd like you to know that I'm really putting my body into this.

Milly: I wanna.. ok, I'm actually gonna editorialise; She's not just putting her body into it, she's putting her body into it so much she's crying a little bit. This is a thing I am observing across the table.

Gretchen: It's because I think I'm hilarious.

[Big ol' Milly laugh]

Gretchen: I make myself cry. Man I am funny.

[More Milly laugh. Mlaugh?]

C as Idi: Excuse me!

G as T'Chad: What's up?

C as Idi: Do you know the song about the hag?

G as T'Chad: I can make you a song about a hag.

C as Idi: Perfect, how much will it cost?

G as T'Chad: Uh, funny story. This is my first day out. I have no idea how much things cost. How much would you normally pay for this?

C as Idi: I'll buy you a drink.

G as T'Chad: Ah, good!

Cal: Can I lift my hand and wave at the hafling bartender -

C as Idi: Excuse me! (no doubt gesturing wildly) A drink for my friend!

Gretchen: Anyway, Hag song. I'll come up with one later.

Cal: A hag song.

Milly: I like how you're just like. You seem to have the talent for being like, Foley work! Music! Milly will do that!

[Laughter]

Cal: I'm gonna use every opportunity...

Gret'chad: (singing) A hag in a bag...

Jenna: Uh, Darla presents you with your drink T'Chad.

Cal: Yeah, you didn't get a choice, sorry. It's probably mead.

Jenna: Dragon flagon of mead.

Cal: Dragon flagon of mead.

Jenna: How much has T'Chad ever drunk?

Gretchen: Probably nothing.

[General sniggering at what will come from this]

Gretchen: I was literally just thinking that as you said that. I was like 'T'Chad probably hasn't drunk anything stronger than rain water.' T'Chad's about to go a little bit cray.

Lizzi: I'm gonna have to like, hold your hair back.

Gretchen: T'Chad's gonna be draped not so artfully.

C as Idi: My name's Idirmil pleased to meet you.

G as T'Chad: Bleh (having mimed sipping mead)

C as Idi: Pleased to meet you.

G as T'Chad: My name's T'Chad.

C as Idi: Chad?

G as T'Chad: I'm the uh, the chosen son of a Tiefling lute cult deep in the mountains. I'm on a mission, a holy mission, to spread the good news about the way of the lute.

C as Idi: Lovely.

G as T'Chad: You interested?

C as Idi: … No.

[Laughter]

G as T'Chad: Oh I thought that would work :/

Jenna: At this point, er, somebody busts through the door and it slams behind them.

Cal: Is this the outside door, or is this the door up to the rooms?

Jenna: Yeah, the door from the outside. Door from the outside, someone just comes charging in.

Milly: Can you describe this someone?

Jenna: Urm, so I'd actually like you all to roll history. Um apart from you, Lil.

Milly: Why don't I get to roll?

Lizzi: Yeah.

Jenna: You'll find out.

Cal: Is it a D20?

Milly: Oh ho! That is a one from Gretchen.

Gretchen: I got a one.

Cal: I got a seventeen.

Milly: I wasn't allowed to roll.

Jenna: Sorry.

Lizzi: Um, I got a three.

Jenna: Ok, so T'Chad and Avi do not recognise this person at all. Um..

Gretchen: Cal.

Jenna: Cal recognises him from some time while she was being a sell-sword. Came across him, she also knows that he's actually quite famous as well so she will have heard tales of him, but probably the meeting was only very brief. Uh, this character goes-

J as Figure: Laeldjyr Kalangloth! It's time to come home.

Gretchen: Waaaaa [manic laughter]

Jenna: And... It's your brother Aeven.

Milly: OH GOD NO!

Jenna: So he's about like 5'7” 'cause Lil's really tall for her family.

Milly: Oh Christ!

[Milly continues to have an existential crisis]

Jenna: Got blue hair like her, but it's a bit darker and he's got the same blue eyes with golden flecks.

Gretchen: Nyaww.

Jenna: He is significantly better built than Lil is, because he is fulfilling the family um, roll of fighter.

M as Lil: -sigh- you can rub it in and stuff it's fine.

Cal: He's a fighter right?

M as Lil: Aeven, what the fuck are you doing here? And how did you find me? And go away.

J as Aeven: Yeah, 'cause you're like super stealthy, sis. Like it was so easy to track you.

M as Lil: But.. don't you have, like things... why, what are you doing here? You don't need me. Go away! Go away!

J as Aeven: See, you think this but you have not seen our mother crying herself to sleep every night since you've left.

M as Lil: I'm only sixty-three I don't know what you expect from me. I...

J as Aeven: More than this.

M as Lil: Um, um! Er y... um -

Milly: Lil looks at Idi-

M as Lil: Um, Excuse me, um, very strong person. I could buy you mead if you were to dispatch of this other blue haired ruffian who is bothering me.

C as Idi:

Jenna: Um, so you've met Aeven before.

Cal: What was his name? Aeven?

Jenna: Aeven.

Cal: (muttering about writing it down or something)

Jenna: A E V E N. And you know that he is quite a famous fighter.

Cal: He's a quite a famous fighter.

Jenna: You know, he's very successful when he fights. Um and you've also met him before so.

Cal: I've also met him before briefly. Ok.

Jenna: It's up to you wether that was like a positive meeting or a negative one.

Cal: I think it probably was... right.

M as Lil: But like it's really nice mead and I have fifty-five gold pieces which is less than everyone else.

J as Aeven: Lil, just come home with me now. Don't make me drag you.

M as Lil: You don't understand me! You don't understand me...

J as Aeven: I mean, nothing was more true... ever in the history of the world but you're punishing our parents for nothing and I won't have it.

M as Lil: Look, when I get back if it's like two-hundred years later they'll just be done with breakfast they won't even know I've been gone. Elves age mad slow y'all!

Cal: I've stepped back when this happens and when I get over my shock and your pleading suddenly to me and say -

C as Idi: Aeven? Aeven Kalangloth!

J as Aeven: And you are?

C as Idi: Idirmil. We worked on that caravan together between... Rotston.... up the sword coast, remember?

J as Aeven: I meet a lot of people in my life.

C as Idi: Ah, so do I. Is this your sister?

J as Aeven: Yes. As much as I detest having to call her that and she detests me.

Milly: I would like to be allowed to roll for stealth to uh, escape, while the conversation is taking place.

Jenna: Go for it.

Milly: Um, let's see.

[At the sound of the roll Gretchen is overcome with mirth]

Milly: That might be a two... but two plus two makes four...

Jenna: As you try to sneak past Aeven he grabs you by the collar of your, um, the collar of your padded armour and you fall over into T'Chad.

Gretchen: T'Chad has been... drinking.

[general laughter]

Cal: Sorry about that.

Gretchen: He's uh, he's been giving it a go, he seems to recognise that alcohol, though he's never encountered it before, is a token of friendship. And is doing his level best to try and get to the bottom of his dragon flagon. He has made it about half way and is already very much feeling the effects and when Lil crashes into him he sort of flops out of his seat, the rest of his mead... stays in his flagon for future shenanigans. Uh, he turns around and says something along the lines of like -

G as T'Chad: Woah, what's your damage?

M as Lil: Um, there's more mead if you get rid of the angry blue haired man.

G as T'Chad: Uh. Look...

Milly: I would like to say that Lil is saying this while sort of like, one foot akimbo, she's like not in her best look.

G as T'Chad: Look, otherwise attractive yet weird strange li'l person. I'm not doing so great right now. I'm thinking that more of this would not help me achieve my holy mission, because it's making it so that...

M as Lil: Listen, my friend, it's in for a penny, in for a pound. I think you just haven't gotten over to the point of greatness- I would like to roll persuasion.

Jenna: Yeah.

Gretchen: You wanna roll persuasion on T'Chad?

M as Lil: I rolled a six. But I have plus one, makes seven. You definitely want to fight my brother for mead. You definitely do, I'm sure it's true.

G as T'Chad: No.

[Thunderous guffaws]

M as Lil: Son of a bitch.

Gretchen: T'Chad protects his lute in one hand and his flagon in the other and rather sloppily sidesteps the whole thing.

Milly: Where is Avi in this?

Jenna: This is just what I was gonna say. Avi are you paying attention to this interaction or..?

Lizzi: So, I've been kinda like sitting in the corner trying to mind my own business but I noticed when Aeven came in, he has this really nice embellished dagger on his belt. Um, it's now in my rucksack, just poking out the top.

Jenna: Ok, so you're gonna have to roll stealth for this.

Lizzi: Ok.

Jenna: For pickpocketing.

Milly: Oooh seventeen!

Jenna: You successfully steal Aeven's dagger and he doesn't even notice.

Lizzi: Apart from that I'm pretty like, disinterested.

Milly: That goes in your inventory.

Jenna: Can everyone else roll perception though please?

Cal: Perception.

Gretchen: With what?

Jenna: It's just a D20.

Milly: I think when, unless stated otherwise...

Gretchen: I, uh got a nineteen! T'Chad did something right.

Cal: It's a six plus... six plus three, so nine.

Milly: Ahem, I might have rolled a three, plus five makes eight?

Jenna: So T'Chad, you do witness Avi.

Gretchen: Oh.

Jenna: Stealing.

Gretchen: So I see Avi stealing the -

Jenna: Yeah.

Gretchen: The dagger.

Jenna: Wh.. are you gonna do anything about it?

Gretchen: Uhhh... I'm going to try but I'm getting further into my mead and so I, and so I am starting to like the taste so I don't really wanna take my face out of my flagon, so what ends up happening is I sort of point and go 'mmmMMMmmm mmm'

Lizzi: And I kind of like do snarky eyes back and like, hiss a little bit and shuffle more into my like little shadowy corner.

Jenna: Ok, Aeven didn't feel anything whatsoever so he obviously cannot interpret what T'Chad has been saying. Er, somehow you can now add a jewell-encrusted dagger to your um weapon list.

L as Avi: It was just so pretty.

[all the laugh]

Cal: Is Lil still, like, limbs akimbo on the.. or?

Milly: I think Lil kinda gradually sliding down like butter on a hot day.

Cal: Ok.

Milly: And so she's like mostly on the floor now.

Cal: Ok because um...

Gretchen: I.. I have an idea, if T'Chad get's to the bottom of his flagon can he very sloppily try and seduce Aeven?

Jenna: T'Chad actually now needs to roll a constitution save.

Gretchen: Ok um, how does T'Chad do that?

Jenna: Just roll a D20.

Gretchen: OK. Thirteen! Plus one constitution?

Jenna: Yes

Gretchen: So fourteen?

Jenna: You're actually doing quite well then, so you're getting pretty drunk but you're not actually feeling.

Gretchen: Maybe I feel worse than I am.

Jenna: Much like ill effects from it, you're all right. It's a very weird feeling that you're not comfortable with maybe because it's the first time you've felt it.

Gretchen: Can I seduce Aeven?

Jenna: You can attempt to

Gretchen: Yeah! OK so um

Cal: Wait, you're trying to seduce Aeven?

Gretchen: Yes.

Cal: Oh! I thought you were trying to seduce Lil.

Gretchen: No.

Cal: Ok that's fine.

Milly: I mean, to be honest. Between the two of us, like...

Cal: I... I was just gonna try and help you(Lil) up so, you know...

Jenna: You can do that.

Cal: I was gonna, can I shove my half full dragon flagon at Aeven and go to lift Lil up?

Jenna: Ok so Aeven is now standing there, awkwardly holding this dragon flagon like 'dafuq are you people doing right now?' How are you(T'Chad) going to try and seduce Aeven?

Gretchen: Ok, so I grab my lute and I'm done with my flagon now so I sort of.

Cal: Also shove that at Aeven.

Gretchen: Attempt to rather sexily set it down and miss the table and it falls. Um, and sort of take my lute and sidle on over to Aeven, just be like -

G as T'Chad: Hey baby, I like blue... and I like you.

Jenna: Roll for it.

Gretchen: Four.

[peals of laughter ring out]

Gretchen: Plus four charisma?

Jenna: Aeven, who is currently awkwardly holding the flagon of mead that has been thrust into his person, just lifts a hand... puts it on your face and just pushes you away.

Gretchen: We could've had something beautiful!

Jenna: And then he shoves the mead into your hand now as well.

Gretchen: Oh no.

Jenna: So he's just like, getting rid of everything.

Gretchen: Ok so now T'Chad has more mead.

Jenna: T'Chad has more mead now.

Gretchen: T'Chad has more mead. Idi are you gonna rescue your mead from T'Chad?

Jenna: Um, are you now standing up Lil?

Milly: Uh, yeah I reckon so, on account of Idi very lovely, being very lovely and helping me up rather than picking me up like a bunch of socks.

Jenna: Ok um, Aeven grabs you by the, basically the scruff of your neck, but the back of your collar, the handle on your bag.

Milly: Ok.

Jenna: Whatever's most obvious. And starts to pull you towards the door.

Milly: Ok, I think I'm gonna have to fight him, I think it's the only way.

Jenna: At this exact moment, the door bangs open again.

[laughing]

Cal: Oh dear.

Jenna: At this point two large humans burst through the door. One of them is square in all ways. They have a square face, square build, his skin has a bit of an orangish tinge to it and he's bald and bare faced. So he has no facial hair. And the other one is um, a woman. She's very tall, has very, very short cropped dark hair and facial tattoos like um, zig-zag bear traps in a smile um, around the bottom of her mouth. They are followed by a short woman, who is very broad. Um, her hair is covered in a scarf and she has tattoos coming down from her forehead. And she is followed by a very, very huge person who has to duck through the door. They are red, they have four horns on their head and they are dressed very sparsely in basically, a wrap around skirt.

Milly: A sarong.

Jenna: A sarong, yeah. Um, if you all roll history please.

Gretchen: I got sixteen, surprisingly.

Cal: Sixteen.

Milly: Ooh, momma got a nineteen-  I'm never calling myself momma again.

[Laughs of agreement]

Milly: Good lord! Nineteen plus three makes twenty two.

Lizzi: I got a nine and then it's plus intelligence yeah?

Jenna: Yeah.

Lizzi: So plus two, eleven.

Jenna: Ok, so you(Avi) vaguely recognise this character um, from probably childhood stories that your mum read to you. Then rest of you know for damn sure that this is an Efreet which is a breed of Genie.

Gretchen: How do you spell that.

Jenna: E F R E E T. I for plural

Milly: Um, can I uh, speak to the Genie?

Jenna: Ok, yeah, I've still got some stuff that your perception will have told you.

Milly: Yeah, go!

Jenna: So because you er, have like a lot of knowledge because you went to your quiet hall and you researched a lot of stuff you can see that this Efreet is particularly un-jewelled, like he's wearing his sarong and that's it, where usually they would wear a lot of gold jewellery um, and things like that. So he's, he's very bare for what you would have expected from and Efreet.

Milly: Ok

Jenna: Um, and you also notice that he has, um, a silver chain around one wrist.

Milly: Ok.

Jenna: Um, but it's very thin and translucent and the rest of you don't notice it at all. He walks straight up, and you're standing next to Aeven at this point because he's got you by the thing. And he just takes Aeven by the throat.

Cal: Ooh, I was, I was about to step forwards and say 'hang on a minute' when he started dragging her away. So I might change...

[Laughter]

Milly: I think Lil, so just so I'm clear, um, the Efreet is holding the throat of Aeven who is holding me by the scruff of the neck.

Jenna: Yes.

Milly: Um, ok, so in this moment I think Lil looks at the Efreet and she says -

M as Lil: Um, excuse me Mr Efreet sir, I really appreciate um, your helping me in this situation with this person who is definitely not my brother and is trying to steal me um, but can we maybe discuss your methods rather than your intentions because I'm not sure this is the best -

Milly: I'd like to roll persuasion please.

Jenna: Sure.

Milly: I dunno if you can persuade an Efreet. Well I did get a sixteen, urm which is seventeen.

Jenna: He looks at you and grunts and..

Milly: I kinda shrug at Aeven like 'I tried'.

Jenna: Yeah, then he glances at his wrist which you know has the chain on it and you guys don't really notice at all. And then he plane shifts out of there with Aeven. So they literally just disappear.

Lizzi: Wait, he does what?

Jenna: He shifts to an alternate plane.

Cal: I stepped forwards and I was about to say 'excuse me Sir, maybe we can...'

[Laughter]

Gretchen: T'Chad is brooding because he doesn't like rejection.

[Laughter]

Milly: I think Lil would like to try to figure out, so I'm gonna assume that one of them is in charge of the Efreet, Lil would like to figure out who is that of the other three? Um, I dunno if that's like...

Jenna: Ok so the short, so you're looking at them.

Milly: Yeah, yeah, so if any of them seem particularly in chargeable.

Jenna: Ok, you learn this very quickly as the short, broad woman looks around the common room, takes you all in, uh, not including Darla the halfling who has sort of jumped down behind the bar.

Cal: Just off the box.

Jenna: She takes in the four of you, looks at her two companions, um, the orange one and the tattooed one and goes -

J as Woman: … Kill them all

Jenna: Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this podcast please rate and review us on iTunes/apple podcast, apparently that's how it's done. And feel free to contact us via any social media channels. Our user is dunjanes.and.dragons. You should also definitely check out our beautiful website www.dunjanesanddragons.com, which not only has information on our players and characters but a totally non-exhaustive list of D&D resources and other D&D podcasts. If we've missed something that you find helpful, or haven't listed a podcast that you listen to or produce, please let us know. If you are new to D&D and would like to learn a bit about how gameplay works, please keep listening. It's a very complex set of rules so my examples are totally non-exhaustive and I would for sure recommend reading the rulebook for a deeper understanding. You can get the basic rulebook online for free.

See you in two weeks for more exciting adventures with the DunJanes!

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For this edition of DunJanes and Jargons I'm gonna talk a bit about skill checks.

A skill check is usually signified by the Dungeon Master, or DM, or a player saying 'please do X check' or 'I'd like to use X to do Y' A check is used to determine how or if a player's successful when they use a skill, or when the DM wants to see how the character responds to stimuli they may not be aware of yet. You will hear both the DM and the players requesting skill checks throughout the game. For example, in episode one, I asked the players to do history checks a couple of times to determine if, and how successfully they recognise or remember something. Calculating a skill check result begins with character creation scores for strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. Skill subsets and any modifiers and proficiencies that accompany them. The total score of a skill check is determined by rolling a D20 and adding the character's modifier and proficiency scores for that particular skill to the result. For instance, when the characters do their history check they may roll an eight on their D20 but have a plus two modifier for intelligence of which history is a subset and plus two proficiency, as they are proficient in that skill. Their total score for the skill check would be twelve. Success is determined by the DM who will usually set a difficulty class, or DC, if the character beats the DC then they succeed, but if their score's lower then they fail. How far their score falls above of below the DC determines wether the results are spectacular or normal. For instance, the benchmark for recognising a non-player character, or NPC, could be fifteen. A skill check result of twelve would mean that the character failed to recognise the NPC, but it's not a particularly low score, so the consequences of failing may not be significant. If the skill check result was a lot lower, the consequences may increase, and if the player rolled a natural one, otherwise known as a critical fail, then the consequences may be dire indeed. A natural twenty, or critical hit, will result in the character being able to achieve unbelievable results. This description, in no way covers the whole topic of skill checks but hopefully it will go a small way in helping you to understand the mechanics as we play. For the next episode we will look at he rules of combat. Thank you for listening.

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[Music begins]

There was a hag in a bag

and I don't mean to brag

but I made her tail – wag

but we hit a real snag

 

She was a hag in a bag

A bag hag

She was a hag in a bag

A bag hag

She was a hag in a bag

 

She was a hag in a bag

A bag hag

She was a hag in a bag

I'm saying, she was a hag

in a bag

a bag hag

a hag in a bag

she was a

a hag bag bag

bag in a bag in a hag

in a bag

woo!

 

A bag hag

Milly Lang